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Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Dov Heller - Part 16

really the three people in the marriage and not just the two people in the marriage. This is called triangulation, where someone is still dependent on someone for their emotional well-being. Now not only can people be triangulated with people, they can also be triangulated with objects. This is the basis of addiction. Addicts, people who have some sort of an addiction, they triangulate their addiction into the relationship. In other words, they堤ependent on whatever it is that they堡ddicted to, and because of the addiction, because they have a dependency on it, their emotional availability is obviously limited. A very important principle which I wish I didnਡve to say, but which I will say and I젳ay it loud and clear is er marry an addict. Never marry an addict. People can࡬ways determine whether someone is an addict and sometimes people do know. I donવst mean people who are addicted to substances like alcohol and drugs. There can be people who are addicted and dependent on work, the internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status. All sorts of things�erialism. Watch out for addictions. There are very, very many addictions in this society and when someone has an addiction, when someone is dependent on something, they will not be and they can not (cannot) be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you.

Now the second reason why people are not emotionally available is because of a very common syndrome in our society, which I call the empty-self-syndrome. Now in simple terms this means someone who does not like themselves. People who do not like themselves cannot be intimate with other people. People who don଩ke themselves spend their time eating themselves up, they are preoccupied with their deficiencies, with negativity, with their insecurities, with their inadequacies. And, literally, it consumes their energy. The more psychological way to understand this is, as I named it before, the empty self. Now the people who suffer from this are people, generally, that do come from homes where they did not get sufficient love, attention, emotional nourishment. Some of the symptoms of someone with an empty selfᮤ please ask yourself if this might describe you or someone you堤ating. If it does you젢e virtually impossible to be able to form an intimate relationship with such a person. Such people always feel empty. They堡lways fighting depression. They just never feel good. They are isolated. They tend not to have close friends and they actually often distrust people and are afraid of other people. They堣ritical, they tend to be judgmental. And a clear indication of such a problem is that they always feel that their needs are never getting met by other people. They have a sense of entitlement. They feel that people should take care of them and they堡ngry when they donuch people feel burdened by other people஥eds, which leads to resentment. They are self-critical and they堯ften detached from their own feelings and their own needs and may have a very hard time expressing their own feelings and needs. And when they do, they tend to feel guilty and ashamed for having those needs. In some they have just a deep sense of feeling bad about who they are and simply don଩ke who they are and don଩ke themselves. Again, this is a very, unfortunately, common syndrome in our society and it is a fundamental reason why people are not emotionally healthy and why someone is not emotionally available.

This will conclude my presentation. Thank you for listening and I hope that what Iå ¢een able to share with you will help you in your quest to find a life partner and the person that you can be happily married to for the rest of your life.

Thank you.

Kelemen 1 | Kelemen 2 | Kelemen 3 | Kelemen 4 | Kelemen 5 | Kelemen 6 | Kelemen 7 | Kelemen 8 | Kelemen 9 | Kelemen 10 | Kelemen 11 | Kelemen 12 | Kelemen 13 | Kelemen 14 | Kelemen 15 | Kelemen 16 | Kelemen 17 | Kelemen 18 | Kelemen 19 | Kelemen 20 | Kelemen 21 | Kelemen 22 | Kelemen 23 | Kelemen 24 | Kelemen 25 | Kelemen 26 | Kelemen 27 |
Rosie & Sherry 1 | Rosie & Sherry 2 | Rosie & Sherry 3 | Rosie & Sherry 4 | Rosie & Sherry 5 | Rosie & Sherry 6 | Rosie & Sherry 7 | Rosie & Sherry 8 | Rosie & Sherry 9 | Rosie & Sherry 10 | Rosie & Sherry 11 | Rosie & Sherry 12 | Rosie & Sherry 13 |
Rottman 1 | Rottman 2 | Rottman 3 | Rottman 4 | Rottman 5 | Rottman 6 | Rottman 7 | Rottman 8 | Rottman 9 | Rottman 10 | Rottman 11 | Rottman 12 | Rottman 13 | Rottman 14 | Rottman 15 | Rottman 16 |
D Heller 1 | D Heller 2 | D Heller 3 | D Heller 4 | D Heller 5 | D Heller 6 | D Heller 7 | D Heller 8 | D Heller 9 | D Heller 10 | D Heller 11 | D Heller 12 | D Heller 13 | D Heller 14 | D Heller 15 | D Heller 16 |
T Heller 1 | T Heller 2 | T Heller 3 | T Heller 4 | T Heller 5 | T Heller 6 | T Heller 7 |
Green 1 | Green 2 | Green 3 | Green 4 | Green 5 | Green 6 | Green 7 | Green 8 | Green 9 | Green 10

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