Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Dov Heller - Part 4
Another way of identifying kindness in a person, is do they do volunteer work? Do they help people in any way, do they give any of their time to help others? Another indication would be, do they give tzedokoh, do they give charity? In Judaism, giving charity is a very high value, a very important value. And it seems to me that if someone is not giving tzedokoh, if they’re not giving charity and they’re keeping all the money for themselves, then that doesn’t indicate, perhaps, a very deep level of kindness. The Rabbis in the Talmud have a beautiful way of measuring character. They say that there are three Hebrew words that sound alike and they say you should ask how a person handles these three areas of their life. The words are kos, kaas and kis. The Rabbis say, look at how a person handles their kos, their kaas and their kis.
Kos is their cup. In other words, check them out when they drink. The Rabbis also say that when the alcohol goes in, the secrets come out. So see how they drink. Take them out, get them a little drunk maybe, and see what you find out.
Kis is their pocket, and that’s money. How do they handle money? A friend of mine often points out that if you really want to find out about a person, get a hold of their check stubs and see where they spend their money. Now, you’re asking me if I really mean this, practically? Well, I would try to find out if there was a feasible way to do it.
Kaas, the last of the three, is anger. How are they in the area of anger and dealing with their own anger and controlling anger? So this is a shorthand formula for measuring character.
We’re looking at a person’s humility, we’re analyzing his kindness. What else should we keep our eyes open for in terms of character traits?
ResponsibilityThe third character trait that I suggest you consider is “responsible”. And here again, you want to ask the question, is this person responsible? It’s amazing what happens when you ask the question. When you verbalize the question it focuses our minds in a way that we really start thinking about finding answers. So I want you to keep track of these questions and I want you to ask these questions to yourself when you date somebody. So is this person responsible? At least ask if this person is an irresponsible person? You certainly don’t want to marry an irresponsible person. So how do you know if a person is responsible? So check out their work history. Do they have a stable work history? Do they have stable friendships? Do they have long-term friendships? You can ask yourself the question — Can I rely on this person? And this is something that you have to check within yourself intuitively, do I feel I can rely on this person? What do other
Get The Ring |
The Speakers |
Warm Wisdom Press
Copyright © 2012 Warm Wisdom Press
Our products come with an Unconditional Money-back Guarantee.
Our Privacy Guarantee: Your information is private. Your transactions are secure.