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Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Lawrence Kelemen - Part 15



give up details of his career, where he's going to work, where he needs to live. But the reality is that in today's dating market, unfortunately, men do have the upper hand because they can date much younger women and because there are more women, I think, with great values out there, than men. And therefore, unfortunately, women are at a disadvantage in the dating market. And therefore I recommend, with things that are not that important, women should learn to be very flexible.

You're right. It does sound a bit chauvinistic, but facts are facts. You mentioned again that we should be focusing on core values. But let's be honest, sometimes it's hard to ignore the attractions of a beautiful girl or a rich, suave guy. How do you suggest dealing with this?

Getting Beyond Externals

Most people have some just blindingly spectacular and beautiful externals which they could flash and get a lot of attention. Very often men will flash their academic degrees or their professional success. A man might flash a Rolex watch or a Mont Blanc pen… some indication of professional success, something like this. Women can flash all of those things. Women can also flash a little bit of body, and that can also blind men and attract them, draw them in. I'm going to make an odd recommendation. I recommend to my students that, as much as possible, they try not to be blinding in their revelation of their externals. And the reason is because it becomes very, very difficult for your partner to get to know you when you bring out these blindingly beautiful externals. The externals are also part of you, but there's also a real, live human being inside. Behind the Mont Blanc pen or the great legs, there is a beautiful person who has dreams, has hopes, has fears, has deep emotions. And unfortunately, often, once we bring out the blinding externals, it's sometimes very, very difficult to see past those to the more subtle, interior aspects of personality.

Let me give you some other examples of externals that, if flashed, can make a whole relationship very superficial. I have a friend who is one of the funniest men I've ever met. He has really just got an unbelievable sense of humor, and he can put me on the floor with my ribs aching in no time flat. But there are very few people who actually know him, because he's so funny that people focus on this external, this sense of humor, and they miss him. They consider him to be the funny guy, but he's much more than a funny guy. He's a fantastic human being. Very, very few people ever see that though.

There's a girl who I once counseled who… she happened to have been gifted with a brilliant mind. She literally had a photographic memory. She remembered as a child being able to look at a few pages from the encyclopedia, then hand the



Kelemen 1 | Kelemen 2 | Kelemen 3 | Kelemen 4 | Kelemen 5 | Kelemen 6 | Kelemen 7 | Kelemen 8 | Kelemen 9 | Kelemen 10 | Kelemen 11 | Kelemen 12 | Kelemen 13 | Kelemen 14 | Kelemen 15 | Kelemen 16 | Kelemen 17 | Kelemen 18 | Kelemen 19 | Kelemen 20 | Kelemen 21 | Kelemen 22 | Kelemen 23 | Kelemen 24 | Kelemen 25 | Kelemen 26 | Kelemen 27 |
Rosie & Sherry 1 | Rosie & Sherry 2 | Rosie & Sherry 3 | Rosie & Sherry 4 | Rosie & Sherry 5 | Rosie & Sherry 6 | Rosie & Sherry 7 | Rosie & Sherry 8 | Rosie & Sherry 9 | Rosie & Sherry 10 | Rosie & Sherry 11 | Rosie & Sherry 12 | Rosie & Sherry 13 |
Rottman 1 | Rottman 2 | Rottman 3 | Rottman 4 | Rottman 5 | Rottman 6 | Rottman 7 | Rottman 8 | Rottman 9 | Rottman 10 | Rottman 11 | Rottman 12 | Rottman 13 | Rottman 14 | Rottman 15 | Rottman 16 |
D Heller 1 | D Heller 2 | D Heller 3 | D Heller 4 | D Heller 5 | D Heller 6 | D Heller 7 | D Heller 8 | D Heller 9 | D Heller 10 | D Heller 11 | D Heller 12 | D Heller 13 | D Heller 14 | D Heller 15 | D Heller 16 |
T Heller 1 | T Heller 2 | T Heller 3 | T Heller 4 | T Heller 5 | T Heller 6 | T Heller 7 |
Green 1 | Green 2 | Green 3 | Green 4 | Green 5 | Green 6 | Green 7 | Green 8 | Green 9 | Green 10

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