Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Rosie & Sherry - Part 9
that she mentioned and ask her why she finds it interesting. Be a good listener, and let him know that you're interested in what he is saying.
Keep the conversation light. We like to tell people to stick with airplane talk, the kind of information you will share with a complete stranger you may be sitting next to on an airplane flight. You won't want to reveal your deepest secrets to someone you are with for a few hours and will never see again. The same way, if you start to tell a blind date about all your failed relationships, the misery that fills your life, or a close relative's battle with psychiatric disorder, you can be sure that you won't see them again either. No matter how easy they may be to talk to, this conversation will make your date feel uncomfortable and they may think there's something weird about a virtual stranger who tells too much too soon.
What if someone has the opposite problem? He's just not much of a talker. How do you avoid those painful silent spells and reveal the real you to your date?
If you are a very closed person who has trouble conversing freely, you really need to work on improving that before you go on dates. How many of you remember the first time you sat down at a computer? How long did it take you to learn how to use it? Some of you were probably an instant success. Others became proficient after only a little bit of coaching. And some people are so computer challenged that they needed a lot of guidance before they could manage to even open up a file. However, within time, everybody learns how to use a computer.
It's the same with conversational skills. Some of us are naturally good at conversation. We know how to relate very well to other people and draw conversation out of them. Other people need practice. If it's hard for you to make small talk, if you don't know what's appropriate to talk about, maybe you should enlist the aid of a friend or of a mentor… and we'll talk to you about a mentor in just a few seconds. Go over topics of conversation. You can make a list, and we're going to give you some suggestions in a few minutes as well. And then what we suggest you do if you're really very shy or if you really have a lot of trouble opening up, is to role play (role-play) how you would speak on a date. Have your friend pretend that they are your date; you pretend you are you; and walk yourselves through a typical first date. Your friend can critique and comment and then you can work on improving your conversational skills.
Now Rosie and I have put together some ideas for conversations that can help you stimulate the type of conversation you would have on a first date. This will help you learn a little bit about each other's values and the way each other thinks, and at the same time it will form the basis for more conversation on the second date. Now only pick one or two of these topics of conversation because hopefully
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