Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Mordechai Rottman - Part 10
it is important. You have to like the way the person looks. There are people who never get married because they’re walking around, either in their minds or in their pockets they have a picture of the kind of person that they want to marry. They have a picture of a person that looks a certain way, and that’s the kind of person that they want to marry. They start from that point. After that, of course, they want to be compatible and so on and so forth, etc., etc. Terrible mistake. We could, I think, wrap this misunderstanding of life up as another great evil fantasy perpetrated upon us by the fantasy world of Hollywood.
I know someone who wanted to get married for a long time and then found a wonderful girl, and he said she was everything that he was looking for except for one thing. She was a half an inch shorter than he expected his wife to be and it bothered him enormously. Talk about getting hung up on looks. Talk about a person walking around with a picture in their mind of who they want to marry… this person had a picture. He knew exactly how tall she was going to be. Can you imagine how unrealistic that is. Walking around, in your mind, with this image of the person who’s going to look a certain way, be a certain height… I mean, how unrealistic can you get? But there are people who really expect these things.
Where do they get this idea from? I mean, come on, don’t we all know that all the movies that we see are figments of people’s imaginations. We’ve seen all the credits after the movies, we know these people aren’t really married. So then where do we get these ideas from? We all know how long it takes, even on the movie set, till they get that look that everybody wants out of their wife, out of this movie star. It could take two hours, three hours, a week sometimes, thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars, this lighting, with special stage experts, ready to get one sigh out of the star actor over here. Where do we get this idea that this is sort of what we have. You’re going to marry someone who’s not going to be physically perfect. But you’re going to work on a relationship because you want to have a long lasting, loving relationship with another person. So yes, they have to be good looking, but, no, they don’t have to be perfect.
Here, how about this thought. Even if you were to marry, let’s say, the most beautiful person in the world, and these are your standards. And you know what? You’ve found her. So there you tell me — You see, I wanted the most beautiful person in the world and I’ve found the most beautiful person in the world. How about that? — Let me ask you a question. What are you going to do in five years from now? There’s bound to be someone more beautiful than her in five years. What are you going to do? Is that it? The people who don’t know how to compromise in anything are people who are inevitably going to live very, very frustrated lives. Every physical relationship takes work. There are Torah laws of family purity that help couples create a satisfying, long lasting physical
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