Get The Ring: How to Find & Keep the Right One for Life.
Mordechai Rottman - Part 3
shouldn’t be a customer, obviously. This is how they act only to people who do business with them. Which means, they’re willing to give as long as you give back to them.
In a marriage, the kind of giving has to be — giving because you care about the next person.
Now I know it works both ways. Not only are you going to be giving to the next person, the next person will be giving to you as well. It has to work that way because a marriage is where you love each other, and if one is giving to the other without it having go both ways, then you could have a situation where… let’s say, the husband may love his wife passionately and she really doesn’t care too much about him, because he’s been giving to her selflessly throughout these years while she hasn’t been giving to him. It could be vice versa. It could be that she loves him passionately and he couldn’t really care about her. After a marriage of one decade, two decades, you could have a situation where one is passionately in love with the other one, where the other one really doesn’t care too much about the person that loves them. It’s quite a tragedy to be trapped in a relationship like that, and that’s why the love has to go both ways. So while you’re looking for somebody who is kind and who can give love, you have to look for someone who you can love as well.
I remember a story one time a friend of mind told to me about relatives of his, married for 25 years, and then one day he got rich. And after he got rich and he realized that he had more possibilities in life than he thought existed beforehand he just picked up and he left. And she would take him back any day of the week because she really loved him. She had cared for him, she had helped him for 25 years, and during this time he simply took and took and took, never really giving back anything. And so when the time came that he could leave, he did it without a problem. And she still is waiting for him to return.
That’s really a tragedy. So what you’re saying is that we should be looking for someone who’s going to give to us and at the same time will motivate us to give to them.
So yes, it has to work both ways.
So marry a person that you want to give to. There are some types of people that, as soon as we meet them they generate within us a sense of compassion and care. When you’re looking for someone to marry, therefore, don’t just see if they are kind, also make sure that you feel like being kind to them. A person who arouses in you a sense of compassion.
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